It feels like I just gave birth. To a bouncing baby blog.

That being said, I technically don’t know what “birth” feels like so I’m being a tad dramatic.

It’s safe to say the pains I’ve endured as a result of resisting the creation of this first post have been borderline, brutal. Self inflicted but nonetheless, tormenting. Sometimes I felt an intense jab first thing in the morning. Sometimes the agony presented itself as anxiety right before I went to sleep.

Pains = I’m Avoiding Doing What I Know/Want/Need To Do.

I look back and clearly see how these unpleasant moments of angst brought me to THIS very moment, connecting with you.  Starting today, I vow to keep my blog alive. I’ll feed it lots of self discipline and self love.  Like anything birthed into existence, this is the beginning of a journey. With my TLC and your curiousity, this little blog will grow big and strong.
Watch out, world, here we come!

Now the act of writing this is no longer a ‘thing’ to do. There is no more meaning given to the ‘not doing’. No more day dreaming. No more debating.

Today, I FINALLY... gave myself permission, to start.

But let’s be real. It’s ME, Carlyn Shaw. I’m the gal with zillions of stories, who talks to strangers and has absolutely no problem airing the ups and downs of life on social media. So how is the same Carlyn responsible for talking herself out of writing in a space of her own?

True Story: I’ve been terrified to share on MY website. Scared to draw traffic away from Strangers To Friends to my new sacred space. Fearful my followers wouldn’t follow me… here. Oh the power of our mind to talk us in– and out– of moving forward.

But wait, who am I to be selfish?

Even though I’m an expert at dreaming up a road trip and making it happen without a hitch, I’m also a pro- procrastinator. It’s too hot, it’s too cold, justifies  the time not to be right for something as simple as… sitting down, writing my thoughts and pushing the ‘publish’ button. (RIP to the blogs started but never brought to life!)

Did I mention I can be the QUEEN of excuses? Probably not. Because excuses are a form of fear. And who wants to expose, THAT! Fear is our ego having its way with us. There’s no sugar coating my truth: I make up (a lot) of excuses. Pardon me, I’m human.

Any other humans out there? Do you rub shoulders with the Perfectionist Princess or Prince from time to time, too? Not the only are they horrible dinner guests but they ALWAYS overstay their welcome!

Fear is our ego having its way with us.

So…In no particular order, I present “My Excuses” for not writing:

  • I don’t know what to say. I mean, come on. I have SO MANY STORIES and THOUGHTS to share I blamed having too much content as my reason for not publishing any content. Where to start? Yea… lame.
  • I don’t like my website. This translates into: My branding isn’t perfect. My Offerings are not perfect. I don’t like my photo. I don’t even know if I like the color purple as much as it’s splashed on every screen. But the truth is, my site might not be the polished final product… but neither am I, and neither are you. What does perfect mean? That there is no more growth? That sounds just as scary! We are all a work in progress who all started, somewhere. So again… lame.
  • No one will read my blog, they only follow on Facebook and Instagram.
    Social Media = Instant Gratification. Blogging means you must go to someone’s personal space. And to do that, you must care enough to lift your fingers from the keyboard, maybe open another window and (oh goodness) go to another website. Talk about some self worth reflection. But have no fear: all my blogs will be shared on Facebook. And Instragram. And wherever else I can. Again… LAME

SO now what? That’s the best part! I have no idea where this blog will take me, take you, take us. All I know for sure: the fun has just begun

And now… it’s your turn.
Whatever your thing: moving to a new city, starting a new business, exploring a new country, leaving a relationship, running a marathon, playing a new instrument…decide to trust yourself and take one small step. Like… writing a first blog.

My intentions from this piece:

  1. Lift weight off my shoulders! From here on out I’m free to write whatever
  2. Air a bit of my dirty laundry so YOU know you aren’t alone
  3. Offer an opportunity for you to self reflect: What are you scared to birth? 

I’ll share mine if you share yours?
Cheers To The Journey!

XOXO,

 

Carlyn